It was nearly 1955, I came to know from an acquaintance that in the local workshop at Jamalpur in the accounts office, there was one great man. I told him that I wanted to see Him. He said that he would go and seek permission. The next day he came and said that this man talked with only those following Yama & Niyama and who were initiated. And that therefore I would have to take initiation.
I said that I knew nothing about this person, so how could I take initiation? First, I wanted to know more about who He was.
I again went the next day to enquire. Again I got the same reply. Then my friend became somewhat irritated. He said that if I wanted he could take me to an acarya, otherwise I should leave the matter. I then thought that I would have to take a final decision. I therefore decided that I would ask questions to the acarya and thereafter take initiation.
Thus, I went to acaryaji. By chance he was also a known person to me. I had a talk with him, asked some questions and got some replies also. Finally, I took initiation. There is one thing to mention about initiation. Acaryaji told me that at the time of sadhana I had to take off my thread (sutra). These days initiation is also given only after one removes one's head tuft (choti). But this was not the position those days.
When I used to do sadhana, I would remove the thread, but sometimes I used to forget this and the thread would remain on my neck. I used to feel very bad about it. In the end I thought that if this thread was an obstacle during sadhana, why not remove it forever? And I did accordingly.
I again went to acaryajii. Then the date was fixed in advance for my going to Baba. At the time of giving second lesson, he had very cleverly removed my tuft of hair also. I had nothing to gain from the tuft of hair on my head. Neither had I any attraction for it.
That very week on Sunday I got the permission to see Baba. At that time there was no separate jagrti. In Rampur colony itself in one of the quarters Baba used to come every Saturday and used to give His discourse there. I had never been to Rampur colony. I was in the habit of remaining strictly confined to my work place. I never bothered about any other place. Therefore, I had never been there and some inconvenience was faced in reaching there. So first, I went to the house of the then General Secretary, who permitted me to go to the jagrti.
In the jagrti I met Ac. Kishunji. I used to talk a lot with Kishunji even before, but he had never revealed to me that he was an Ananda Margi. I met one more person, with whom I was familiar.
Then there was the sound of someone's arrival. Everyone else remained in, but I had to wait outside. A little later everyone else was out and I was alone in with Baba. Baba was sitting on a wooden cot. I did sastaunga pranam and sat down.
He said,
“Look, you have to be a saint within and outwardly one has to remain a gentleman.”
“And one has to become Godlike & not the servant of God.”
Up to that time the definition of the word sadhu had not been given. Later on I came to know that that person is a sadhu who causes no harm to others while carrying on his own livelihood. He does not exploit others. Another meaning of sadhu is that just as we hold our life very dear, so everyone loves his or her own life. One who is compassionate to others on account of the above is a sadhu. Thus, both definitions are similar and carry the same sense. Anyway, what Baba meant was that outwardly we have to carry on life gentlemanlike, but inwardly one has to love all and be a saint.
What is the difference between Ramdas and Ramsvarup? Ram is Parama Purusa. To be a slave or a servant of Parama Purusa is becoming Ramdas. In this state one remains in contact with Parama Purusa, but the feeling of being a servant is quite different from the feeling of oneness with Parama Purusa. In the word Ramsvarup Parama Purusa is beginingless and endless. One has also to become like that, that is, Ramsvarup. At that time I followed it to some extent, but later on, when many books appeared on philosophy, I understood its significance much better.