You cannot do anything by hiding from these two eyes

Ac. Dasharatha

I had become habituated to eating tobacco. When I left home after doing my sadhana, I used to eat tobacco. I used to spit it out on the way and do pranam to Baba with dirty hands. I used to meet Baba every evening. And every time I used to touch His feet with hands stained by tobacco. Later on, it was not allowed to do pranam by touching His feet.

 

Anyway, it came to my mind that I was not doing the right thing by touching Baba's feet with my dirty hands. I therefore gave up eating tobacco for several months, and even for years.

 

But once it happened that a teacher from Darbhanga came to visit me. He was a physical instructor at R.B. High School. He told me "Oh, you have given up eating tobacco! That is all right. But just for once you must taste my tobacco.” It was quite strong.

 

That very day some people had come from elsewhere to have Baba's darshan. They were sitting on the tomb of the tiger and I was also with them. Baba was there.

 

Now, Baba began to talk about the bad effects of smoking bidi and cigarettes. Baba said, "Have you seen a kitchen? By smoking bidi and cigarettes, the chest becomes a kitchen and there is the possibility of developing cancer." Baba also spoke about drinking, the gist of which was that it is harmful to drink.

 

Then, two boys who had come to see Baba said that they did not smoke. Baba became very angry at them and told them “For two days you have had no opportunity to smoke as you were in the jagrti. But were you not smoking before?”

 

The boys fell silent. Baba said, “Touch everyone’s feet and ask for their pardon. I shall only forgive when these people have forgiven you.” Everyone then gave their pardon. So did I. At that moment Baba said, “Now Dasarath will also give up tobacco.” One can imagine my condition at that time. I felt shocked and embarrassed. And I gave up eating tobacco from that very time onwards. That very day, I had committed the mistake.

 

I had given up eating tobacco. Then, as it happened after a long time, some people came to invigilate our school at the time of the Board's examinations. Shrii Phul Deo Singh, a primary school teacher of my village was also one of them. Later on, he died of cancer. One day, he insisted and forced me to eat tobacco. I again developed a desire for it. And again I started eating it at least twice a day.

 

By chance, it so happened that during that period one day I had a dream. In the dream I saw that Baba came with other persons and sat on a chair. Others also took their seats. I got confused and sat with those men. I forgot to do pranam to Baba. Then I recollected that I had forgotten to do my pranam. I immediately got up, did my sastaunga pranam and sat down again. Then Baba looked at me and spoke, "Dasarath, do you take twice a day or thrice?” I started crying “No ! No ! Baba !” Baba's eyes became stern.

 

Then, I said “Baba I do not mean to say that you are wrong. What I mean is that now I will not eat it anymore.” Thereafter my sleep was disturbed and I got up. Baba had also left. Ac. Chandranathji was also in that group.

 

That day also the same teacher came for invigilation. When he began to insist again. I told him “Today I have taken an oath before my Guru that I would not eat tobacco again”, and I told him the whole story. He also then did not insist anymore. I gave up tobacco. Now, there is no urge, no desire at all.